High Walls
by Kyoko0001
Summary: Kurogane learns that Fai is full of surprises. KuroFai. Rated M
1. Chapter 1

AN: I do not own Tsubasa. Non Cannon little snip of KuroFai goodness. Rated M for a reason if you do not like it do not read it.

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It took a lot to surprise Kurogane. After all they had been though on their travels, it wasn't an easy feat to accomplish. If anything did end up surprising him, it was had something to do with Fai. That idiot mage had too many things tucked up under his sleeves for the ninjas liking.

In the years they had been searching for the feathers Kurogane had never once seen Fai kill another human. He tried to stay out of the thick of battle and allow Syaoran and Kurogane to do most of the fighting. In the event that the conflict was not avoidable, his style of fighting consisted of dodging about until the enemy was too exhausted to carry on.

He fought with kid gloves.

Fai was at home on the battle field however. Only someone familiar with the intricacies of it all would be able to have such restraint when attacking.

Kurogane had no idea what kind of life Fai had led on his home world. The idiotic mage was not often forthcoming with details.

Today though, Fai had blown him out of the water.

The mage had killed. Fai hadn't batted an eyelash as he stepped in and dropped the threat before it could harm the princess. There small group had been surrounded soon after they had retrieved Sakura's feather and things had gone south.

Kurogane hated to admit it, but he and the kid had gotten overwhelmed. Fai, as per usual, had stuck close to the princess during the fray. The blonde had only been doing enough to keep her from being harmed. While the 'boys' as the idiot liked to call them, took care of the threat.

As soon as the kid had taken a bad hit, the blonde had swapped places with him. When Kurogane had gone down though?

Fai had taken care of it himself.

Kurogane was hardly able to keep up with the idiot as he started throwing spells. Against his usual code, the mage was using his magic.

It was terrifyingly beautiful to watch as enemy after enemy started to fall.

When Kurogane had pictured what it would look like for Fai to use his magic? He thought of him as a long-distance fighter. In Yama he had chosen a bow as his weapon—Kurogane had assumed that was because he was used to fighting from a distance.

Watching it in action though? The idiot was ducking and dodging about while throwing exploding runes at a close range. He couldn't block a sword with his bare hands, which is why he had to be good at avoiding the blows. His weird fighting style made sense now that magic was added back into the equation.

The small army that had surrounded them were dead within minutes. The smell of blood was heavy in the air and Fai was coated in it from head to toe.

Luckily the princess had been unconscious during all of this and hadn't had to see this side of the blonde. The kid however, seemed uneasy as Fai approached them. Kurogane couldn't blame 'em. The kid had never taken a life before and hadn't learned that in moments like the ones they were just in—it was kfill or be killed.

Fai apparently understood well.

The mage wordlessly helped both he and the kid to his feet and they made their way back to their apartment. Syaoran and Sakura settled in the back room and Kurogane waited on the couch while Fai showered off the gore.

He honestly never thought that idiotic mage had it in him. With as much as Fai avoided conflict in the first place? The ninja had assumed him a pacifist.

It was a good hour or so before the bathroom door cracked open and Fai emerged wearing loose-fitting pajama bottoms and one of the ninja's tank tops as he made his way across the room to plop down next to Kurogane.

Fai liked to steal his cloths to sleep in… he would let it slide this one time due to the idiots help today. They sat together in silence a moment. The idiot really didn't want to talk about it. Moron normally couldn't shut the hell up.

Kurogane had shit to get off his chest though—he would let the mage wear his cloths, but it idiot was damn well gonna talk tonight.

"Oi." The blonde hmmed a soft response as he continued to towel dry his hair. "You really saved our asses back there."

"I suppose I did." Fai's voice was soft. His normal mask of hyperness was nowhere to be seen.

That was new.

"Thought you weren't going to use magic any longer?" Fai frowned and leaned forward. Kurogane had set out some sake on the coffee table, he figured the mage might need it. He guessed right. Fai sipped directly from the bottle before leaning back.

"Well Kergs, you didn't really leave me a choice." The blonde turned his attention from the ceiling to the ninja. He had never seen Fai look so tired before.

"Yeah I guess." Kurogane snatched the bottle of sake away from the mage and poured them both a glass. "The sky didn't start falling because you used you magic though."

Fai accepted the glass and downed it in one go. "No. That's not why I couldn't use my magic though." The ninja refilled it for him and sipped on his own.

"So, what then. You put our lives above whatever was stopping you before." Fai sighed. The ninja didn't know what was going through that idiot's mind—but he knew the blonde was bothered.

"I guess at the end of the day I'm weak ne Kuro-tan? I couldn't let you all die though."

"Maybe, or maybe you facing whatever fear you had of over using your magic shows the opposite." The blondes frown deepened as he finished off his second glass. Kurogane poured him another hoping that Fai would open up with a bit of help.

"I'm not afraid to use magic Kurger-bun."

The ninja growled. "So, what then mage?"

The blonde sighed loudly for the second time that night. "That's all I am hm? All I've ever been." Kurogane watched as Fai downed his third glass and just handed back the bottle. He could drink as much of the truth juice as he wanted.

"A mage?" Fai nodded and Kurogane was getting annoyed with the way this conversation was going around in circles. What the hell did that mean?

"I was born with very very strong magic. I was chosen because of this magic. I was rescued because of this magic… It's always been about my magic." There was a long pause. Kurogane was hoping he would go on but Fai drank again directly from the bottle and flashed the ninja a dopy gin—the sake was hitting him for sure. "Kuro-tan?"

"Yeah."

"You worked for the princess of japan? Tomoyo?" Kurogane nodded his head and the blonde smile fell. "she took you in when you were a child?"

"What does this have to do with any of it?" The ninja sipped his glass. He was forever in debited to princess Tomoyo for the mercy she had shown him.

"Tradesies you grumpy ninja. Answer me and I'll answer you." Fai took another swig from the bottle and Kurogane made a mental note to make sure Fai made it to the bathroom if he was going to barf. The blonde was a heavy drinker but preferred wine—drinking sake like this was going to make him sick for sure.

"Fine." Kurogane glared at Fai. "She took me in after my parents were murdered."

"We have something in common." The drunk grin was back. "I was taken in and trained by the king of my country."

There it was—the first scrap of information. Fai had more surprises for him that night it seemed.

Kurogane assumed that the man who the blonde was referring to, was the same one he was running form but he knew if he asked, the conversation would end. "He taught you how to fight like that?"

"More or less." Fai's smile didn't waiver. "I never had any particular interest in learning how to fight but he insisted I would need it one day to keep my home safe."

"Was he right?" Kurogane sipped his sake and listened to the dark chuckle that escaped the mages lips. Another first. Up to this point Fai had refused to be anything but happy.

"I suppose he was. There were 4 wars in my time in Celese." Men didn't win in wars. Politicians did. Men died in wars and fought to come home to their families. To have to fight 4 of them to keep you family safe? That fucked you up in a special way.

"Did Celese win?" Kurogane said the mage's home world name slow—being careful to pronounce it correctly.

"I wouldn't be here if we hadn't." Fai took another sip from the bottle. Kurogane realized he should probably take it away—

"Front lines?" Fai must have been the king's hands—doing what he couldn't because of his position.

"Of course. I promised the king I would keep my home safe from anyone who might harm it." That would explain as to why Fai had handled himself so well. He had done it countless times before.

Fai smiled and closed his eyes.

"You don't like fighting, do you?"

Kurogane honestly enjoyed the challenge, he liked the rush that came with battle, and how sore his body was afterwards. That didn't mean everyone felt as he did though—plenty of people did it because they had to. Not because they wanted to.

"I hate it. I don't like hurting people but it's all I'm good at." The blonde continued to smile brightly as he spoke but there was a crack in that mask. A single tear slid down his porcelain cheek. The ninja didn't point it out. didn't scold the mage.

"Don't be dramatic idiot. You're good at other things too." Fai shook his head slowly and looked at his hands. No wonder the mage was so god damn miserable all the time. "You're good at cooking too."

Probably wasn't the best example.

"I guess you're right." The blonde hands were knotted into tight fists and the ninja was feeling like an asshole. "It was nice you know? Not having to use magic for so long I mean—I got to be more than just the mage who is good at battle magic."

The corner of the blonde mouth twitched up into the first genuine smile Kurogane had ever seen from him. It wasn't big—or bright—or exaggerated.

It was tired and honest.

Beautiful.

As beautiful as Fai had been when he had been fighting.

"Now I'm the idiot mage who is useless at everything but cooking!" The fake smile was back as Fai turned to look at him. "Right Kuro-chan?"

"You're good at more than just cooking to..." Kurogane rubbed the back of his head and finished off his glass. Fai poured him another and set the bottle down on the table.

"Kuro-daddy is so sweet!" the blonde blew him a kiss and it took everything the ninja had not to pound his face in. Was it so hard to just be serious for one go damn minute?

"Look Fai?" The blonde leaned against his shoulder dramatically. "If you don't like fighting you don't have to. We needed your help today and you saved our ass—So Im glad you did. But normally the kid and I got it covered… so you don't have to, okay?"

"Kuro-daddy is so sweet worrying about Fai mommy's feelings." The blonde cooed and the ninja sighed. The wall between them was still as thick and as tall as ever.

"Shut up." Even so Kurogane had learned more about the mage in their short conversation then he had on the journey so far.

"Fine fine." Fai chuckled and pushed himself into a sitting position. Running a hand though his damp hair he slowly got to his feet. "Kuro?"

"Yeah…" The ninja watched the mage wobble over to the opposite side of the room and lean against the wall.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah…." Kurogane stood and offered and arm to the idiot mage.

"Before you were sent away for being a naughty ninja—" The two made their way slowly down the hallway, Kurogane supporting most of their combined weight. "—could you sleep after a fight like tonight?"

"Like the fucking dead mage." Kurogane opened the door to their shared room and helped Fai sit on his bed. Fighting cleared his head.

"Not me." Fai sighed as the ninja straitened. Kurogane was surprised when slender fingers tangled into the front of his shirt.

"Nightmares?" Hesitantly Kurogane placed both of his hands on Fai's shoulders and squeezed reassuringly. They happened and were nothing to be ashamed of.

"My mind races in battle and it won't stop after." The blondes voice cracked. While the ninja had never had this problem—there were men he had worked with who had been that way.

"What did you do back home to help." The mage leaned forward so that his forehead was flush against the ninja's stomach. He could feel the smaller man's body shaking.

"Drink and make bad decisions." The blonde chuckled.

Well he had the drinking part down. Kurogane wasn't going to let the mage do anything stupid though. He would just have to tough it out if that was the case.

"Want some more sake?" he shook his head and laid back on the bed.

If Kurogane had known that the idiot wanted to go out and make a bad decision—they would have gone to a bar and gotten the idiot laid. That seemed to be the mages preferred pattern after battles in Yama at least.

"I don't know what you want me to do Fai." It was rare for Kurogane to use the mages real name. He tried not to do it since Fai refused to call him by his proper name but sometimes it was the only way to let the blonde know he was serious.

"Sometimes Ashura-ou would let me sleep in his bed." Fai's mouth was partially covered by the many fabrics on the bed and the ninja had to strain to hear it.

"What you want me to read you a book and sing you a song?" Kurogane was sure that this was another game. No way in hell the mage was being serious right now.

The fabric rustled and he assumed the blonde shook his head. "Can you just… Stay with me? I haven't been sleeping and after what happened… It's just going to make it worse."

"tch. Move over." It was too dark for him to see the mages expression but the idiot moved to the far side of the bed and the ninja laid down. Kurogane was still half expecting to be teased and tormented for 'snuggling with mommy' or some shit.

Since they had started this journey many months ago he had noticed that Fai had a bad case of insomnia and had frequent nightmares. Night terrors in some cases even—and he wanted to doubt that the idiot would joke about this. The ninja settled on his side facing the door and Fai scooted towards him so that their backs were touching.

"How long since you've been having trouble sleeping mage?"

"I'm not good at sleeping alone." Fai's voice was hardly above a whisper—no doubt all that alcohol was making his eyes heavy.

It made sense. Fai was a dependent person.

"Who did you sleep with back in Celese? Have a lover or something?" Kurogane felt Fai shift and turn so that he could look at the ninja.

"Whaa you wanna know about who I was seeing?" the blonde seemed genuinely surprised by the question. Kurogane turned so he could face the idiot, fully expecting a bald-faced lie from the mage.

"Is that so strange?" to his amazement Fai settled his head on his chest and sighed.

"No—I guess not." The blonde chuckled lightly again. Kurogane felt it more then he heard it. "I wasn't in any sort of committed relationship. I was to busy to sustain any sort of meaningful relationship so I just slept around when I was lonely."

"What about that Ashura guy?" the mage went stiff before laughing again.

"The king raised he as an adoptive son what do you think?"

"Fair enough—I just assumed when you said you crawled in his bed—"

"Kuro-sama never crawled in his papa's bed when he was scared?" The mages tone was teasing as he poked the ninja's cheek.

"Yeah as a little kid." The ninja batted the hand away and growled. He could deal with the low-key teasing in privet.

"Well I never broke that habit… I just can't sleep alone—whether I am afraid or not." The blonde settled back down and yawned. His hot breath hit the ninjas neck and he almost shivered. Almost. "Ever since I was born."

Kurogane was suddenly aware of how intimate their position was. He wondered if Fai knew as well or if in his drunken state it was going over his head. "How do you know you've been that way since you were a baby?"

"I had a twin brother…" Kurogane almost missed what Fai had said. He knew better then to ask what had happened to his twin. It was a conversation for another time.

Shifting to bring his arm up and around the mages shoulders he used his hand to cover those sad blue eyes. "You said you were tired so sleep."

"hey… Kuro?" Fai obviously wasn't very tired—perhaps to wound up to sleep.

"What."

"What about you?" The blonde nuzzled his nose into Kurogane's neck. What the hell was that idiot doing?

"What?"

"Did you leave a lover behind in Nihon?" the ninja felt his cheeks flush, suddenly thankful for the darkened room.

"No."

Fai shifted so that he was sitting up and looking at the embarrassed ninja. "Whaa—Kuro-cutie! Don't tell me you're a—" the blonde was pointing at him as though he had the plague.

What the fuck. "A what?"

"Oh, my got you are!" Fai pulled his hand back and covered his mouth dramatically, whisper yelling. "No wonder you're so grumpy all the time!"

The ninja felt his eye twitch. "What the hell are you talking about idiot." Kurogane shot up so he could knock some sense into the drunken mage. Fai had other plans however.

Leaning forward to avoid the blow he wrapped both his arms around the cranky ninja and whispered in his ear. "V—I—R—G—I—N." His breath was hot against the ninja's ear and the fact that it smelled like expensive sake made it all the better. He couldn't help but shiver this time.

"No, you idiot. I've had—" Kurogane paused trying to think of a word that best described what these encounters had been like.

"Lovers?" The blonde offered. Still whispering hot breath against his ear. He sure did like that word.

"I wouldn't call them that." Kurogane sighed loudly and leaned back to put a bit of distance between he and Fai. The blonde didn't seem to catch the hint and swung a leg over the ninja's hips so that he could sit in his lap. "What are you DOING!"

"Why wouldn't you call them that?" Fai ignored his question completely. Again, Kurogane was left to wonder if he even noticed how intimate there position even was.

"B—because. There was nothing between us before or after. It was just convenient."

"So, what? Fuck buddies?"

Kurogane felt his cheeks flush. He was NOT used to the mage speaking so openly about such things. Fai didn't use rude language and was never suggestive. "One night stands." He managed to cough out—losing his last shred of dignity in the conversation.

"Hm I was never fond of the one and done." The blonde mused and looked up at the ceiling and shifting his weight back.

"Why's that?" Kurogane wished he had brought the sake back here. He needed a drink to get though the rest of this. Yeah—he had wanted the stupid mage to be open. He wanted to brake that barrier down between them. He didn't know if he was making any progress though. For all he knew this was part of the mages plan.

"It takes time to learn what your partners body is like. There likes or dislikes. The first times is usually exciting but disappointing—the 5th or 6th time with a fast learner? That's when things get—" Fai shifted his hips again and the ninja bit his lip so he wouldn't grown. "—well that's when the sex gets good."

What the fuck was going on? He wanted to get to know the guys but not like this.

"Says the guy who admitted to sleeping around when he was lonely." Kurogane thought he saw the mage smirk but it was too dark for him to be certain.

Fuck him.

"With the same people. I had my favorites." the blonde chuckled and shifted his weight forward again. Sitting up so that he and the ninja were nose to nose.

Fuuuck.

"So, you were seeing someone then?" What kind of a game was the idiot playing?

"Someones." Fai corrected and wrapped his arms around the ninja's neck once again, leaning his weight forward and yawning.

"Is that normal from where you come from?" It wasn't normal in Nihon that was for sure. In Yama, when they had been separated from the kids, Fai had taken a 'lover' as the mage liked to call it. He had never walked in on them but had caught them necking in the bathhouse on more than one occasion.

Maybe Fai had no clue that the way he was treating the ninja was strange. Maybe sex was more casual where he was from.

Anyway—its not like it fucking mattered because he wasn't in to that sort of thing. No matter how tight his pants were starting to get…

"Yeah. The kings Court was pretty sensual if you catch my drift." Fai chuckled again and Kurogane was doing his best to hold still.

What the FUCK was going on. He was NOT into this.

"tch. You're lucky you never knocked anyone up if it was that bad."

"I don't do woman Kuro-sama. I thought you knew that." Fai rolled his hips again. The moron had to be doing this on purpose. Cultural differences be damned.

"What about you Kuro? Any close calls?" the blondes nose was tucked just behind the ninjas ear and their chests were now pressed together. There was no way in hell Fai wasn't aware of this.

"I uh…" the blonde rolled his hips again and nipped Kurogane's ear causing him to hiss. "Fuck. Why are you doing this?"

"Doing this?" The blonde rolled his hips forward again, harder this time.

Fuck. Fuck. FUUUCK.

"Or doing—" Fai kissed his neck and slipped a cool hand up the front of his shirt. "—this?"

"Why…" Kurogane repeated giving the mage better access to his neck. Fucking shit his cock was hard. He didn't understand it. Sure, the mage was good looking but the ninja had never been aroused by his body before.

Hell—Kurogane had never been aroused by a man before. If it was Fai's thing that was cool with him. The mage could do whatever he wanted after all—but Kurogane was not into this kind of thing.

"Want me to stop?" the blonde nibbled at his collar bone while his chilly fingers just barely grazed over one of the ninja's erect nipples.

Fuck him.

Kurogane was never into this kind of thing until now.

"Kuro-koi says he's never had a lover before…" Fai's hot breath puffed out against his skin. He was a god damn warrior. He was not supposed to get goosebumps like this. "Why is that?"

Soft, pink lips just barely ghosted across his own. The blonde ground their hips together and Kurogane sighed.

Fucking hell.

"You know what I think?" Fai pressed their lips together again, nipping at the ninjas bottom lip. Kurogane sighed again but didn't push the mage away as the blonde tanged a hand in his short black hair and kissed him again. "I think Kurogane doesn't like to open up to people."

"Like your one to talk." That was how it all started wasn't it. Kurogane had wanted the fucking mage to open up and talk.

"Kuro-sama had made it very clear that he didn't want anything to do with me." Fai ground their hips together again and nipped the ninjas lip before kissing him slowly—one hand tangled in the ninjas hair and the other placed delicately on the warrior's chest.

Kurogane hadn't fucking known he had wanted something to do with the mage. He had wanted Fai to open up, to forge stronger bonds with the ninja and there traveling companions.

"But that's a lie isn't it Kuro-tan?" the ninjas breath hitched as the hand that was previously snaked in his hair, slid down his back. Another quick kiss and Fai shifted his weight—pushing the ninja to lay back against the pillows. "You want me to open up—for us to—"

Fai kissed down his neck while his hands pushed the tight-fitting tee shirt up. "—trust each other?"

Fuck him. His body fucking wanted this.

"This isn't what I had in min—FUCK." Fai palmed his erection though his jeans. What the HELL.

"No—but If Kuro-puu wants me to trust him—" slender fingers worked the button and zipper combo free and released the ninja's obvious arousal from his pants. Kurogane inhaled sharply as the mage pressed a chaste kiss to the head. "—Kuro-grumpy is going to have to trust me too."

With those words the mage took him slowly into his mouth. The ninja's eyes all but rolled back in to his head as his entire body tensed. Was this really happening? Was he really letting the mage suck him off while he was shit faced?

What the fuck!

"St—top." Kurogane managed to groan out and the mage did just that. His erection making a lewd 'pop' as it was freed from the blonde's mouth.

"What's wrong?"

"You're drunk moron." Kurogane scrunched his eyes shut. His eyes had adjusted to the darkness… The mental image of the mages face was erotic enough without his eyes actually seeing it.

"Would it make you feel any better if I told you that I've been thinking about doing this too you since Oto?" Fai lapped at the head of his cock and giggled.

God damn it.

"Why now then?" The ninja was gritting his teeth until Fai sat up on his knees and leaned forward to capture his lips.

Fai seemed to like kissing him. Kurogane liked the way his breath smelled like sake and his lips were so fucking soft.

"I'm weak." Kissing back down the warriors body. He again took Kurogane's length in his mouth and started sucking.

Where the fuck did he learn how to do that? No one had even done it like this before and he felt like he was going to fucking explode. Was he fucking panting and groaning for this idiot?

How did Fai have him so undone?

"We shouldn't be doing this if your—" Slender fingers slid around his balls and the mage relaxed his throat, taking more of the ninja in. "—fuck—"

The mage hummed as if answering him and if that small vibration didn't just push him over the edge. Kurogane came hard, his hips spasming and his cock kicking. Not that the mage seemed to mind. He took it like a fucking champ.

Fai chuckled and kissed his way back up the ninja's body. Kurogane felt soft lips against his again and he could fucking taste himself on the mages lips. Fuuuuuucking hell.

"If I'm what Kuro-sama?"

"Drunk." The ninja managed at last.

Fuck this whole situation. What was he gonna do? Get a blow job from the blonde and shut that shit down? Kurogane didn't want to feel as though he was taking advantage of the blonde but on the other hand this was going to make things complicated.

"Drunk sex is the best kind silly." Their lips met again and Kurogane finally made a move. Hesitantly he brought both of his arms up and wrapped them around the mage. One settling low on his waist, the other on his upper back, hand cupping the back of his neck.

Fai was so god damn slender.

His thumb rubbed circles into the side of the mages neck as he lapped at those soft lips with his tongue. It was the blonde breath that hitched this time as he opened his lips and allowed the ninja to deepen the kiss. He could taste himself along with the Sake and Fai's own naturally sweet taste—and what a fucking combination that was.

Kurogane didn't know where the lust was bubbling up from but he was already hard again. The blonde continued to wiggle his hips back and forth in his lap.

This was a bad fucking idea.

Fai broke their kiss and inhaled sharply and the ninja took the opportunity to bite down on his neck. Unlike Fai—Kurogane left marks. Roughly, he slid his hands to the hem of the mages shirt and all pulled the fabric up jaggedly, and tossed the acritical of clothing across the room.

Kurogane had never been with man before—but Fai seemed to like the rough handling. His calloused hands ran up the blonde soft sides—the idiot's ribs were alarming close to the surface of his skin was fucking softer than his lips.

Fai was panting and moaning softly as he sucked roughly on his collar bone and grabbed the idiot's hips forcing friction between the two.

This was such a bad fucking idea.

"Kuro-sama is so bossy in bed." Fai panted out as the ninja sat up, forcing the blonde to do the same.

"Then tell me to stop."

The blonde didn't answer him, just crawled off the bed and pulled the ninja to his feet as well. Fai pulled the warriors shirt up and over his head before tugging at the waist off his unzipped pants. "I can be bossy too you know?"

Kurogane raised and eye brow at the idea. Fai could be annoying but had never been bossy before.

The ninja stepped out of his jeans and underwear, kicking them to the side, but his eyes were glued on the mage as he shimmied out of the baggy pajama bottoms he seemed to love so much.

"Where the fuck do you get off having a fucking figure." The words came out as a growl from the warrior's throat. Fai took a step forward, closing the distance between them, wrapping his arms around Kurogane's hefty shoulders.

Unlike the mages hands which were cool, the rest of Fai skin was hot. Kurogane felt his cock twitch and he groaned.

"Kuro-sama thinks I'm pretty?" Fai cooed and nipped at the ninja's nose.

"Shut up idiot." Kurogane lifted Fai easily onto the bed. Thin ninja took a moment to admire his thin form.

Fuck.

Fai was skinny. When he was laying on his back his ribs and hips protruded, and it made Kurogane want to go into the kitchen and make the idiot a fucking sandwich. Fai wasn't wrong though.

For the third-time tonight Kurogane thought that he was beautiful.

A heavy knee pushed two pail legs apart and Kurogane nipped and kissed each one of those protruding bones. He was sure to leave marks behind him as he went and he listened to Fai's keening each time his teeth met pale skin.

For once he didn't want the moron to shut up.

Kurogane had never been with a man before—he got the basic gist of things were supposed to work sure. But having Fai below him was strange. He didn't want to go to fast or skimp on the foreplay—he wanted Fai to feel good too—but he just wanted to turn him over and fuck him till he couldn't stand.

Things with him and his partners had always been wham, bam, thank you ma'me. He didn't want to do that to the mage.

This time he wanted to push thought that barrier that Fai had put between them though—so he was going to take his time.

"Tell me what you want Fai." Kurogane nipped the skin right below the blonde belly button, causing him to arch.

"Kuro-sama doesn't know what to do?" The blonde teased and propped himself up on his elbows. Of course, he would say that.

The blondes cheeks were flushed and he was panting lightly—pouting at the lack of attention.

Fuck.

"No. I want you to tell me what you want me to do it you." Kurogane listened to an amused chuckle.

"I want Kuro-tan to sit on the bed." Fai's voice was low as he moved aside to make room for the ninja.

Fuck. What door did he just open…

Kurogane did as asked and Fai straddled his hips and pressed their lips together. There erection were pressed together and the blonde moaned softly against his lips. "I want Kuro-sama too—" The ninja ran a hand up the morons back and tangled his hands in soft blonde hair. "—I want Kuro-sama to make love to me."

The ninja felt his cheeks flush red hot.

Yeah… this was a bad fucking idea.

A low growl escaped his throat and he kissed Fai slow. He left cool hands wrap around his wrist and the blonde broke the kiss to suck on three of the ninja's fingers.

It was almost hotter than when the mage had had his cock in his mouth.

With a reassuring nod from Fai that this really was what the blonde wanted, he used one hand to urge the mage to lean forward. Two arms were again wrapped around the ninjas neck and Kurogane kissed his mage gently as he slowly slid two fingers inside.

They were really fucking doing this.

Fuck.

The blonde whimpered into the kiss when Kurogane added a third. "Hurt?" He kissed his mages cheek and gave him a moment to adjust.

"No—Feels good." Those words caused the warriors cock to jump. His whisper was breathy and pleading.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Fai's eyes were closed and he was biting his bottom lip as Kurogane withdrew his fingers and placed both of his hands on the blonde's hips urging the blond to lift his hips a little higher. With one hand on the ninja's shoulder to steady himself, he used the other to grab the warriors dick and position it at his tight entrance.

Kurogane hadn't it expected it to be this hot—or tight—or fucking good. His mage slowly lowered his hips and the sigh of pleasure he made was almost enough to drive the ninja over the edge for the second time that night.

That would spoil it though.

Once he was fully inside, Fai rolled his hips slowly and brought his free hand up to cup the ninja's cheek, and kissed him slowly.

This was such a bad fucking idea.

The blonde's movements were sensual and slow and they were diving Kurogane insane. This was definitely not like any sex he had ever had before. The warrior was breathing heavy as he listened to his mages sighs of pleasure.

He sure as fuck knew what he was doing.

Slowly, Kurogane took one of the hands that was settled on a pail hip, and slid it between he and the blonde. Grabbing Fai's needy erection, he got a breathy gasp and felt the blonde's muscles tense around his cock.

FUCK.

Kurogane worked Fai slow—he didn't want a premature end to this. Not when the blonde was making those fucking noises.

All good things eventually came to an end however. He knew his mage was close when he started whining into the feverish kisses. The way his body spasmed as he orgasmed made Kurogane lose control and he didn't even think to pull out to avoid making a mess.

Not that Fai complained. Fai seemed perfectly content to stay just as they were and drift off to sleep but Kurogane knew that wasn't gonna work. Nipping at his mages neck to get his attention he watched two sleepy blue eyes glare at him.

"Shower time."

"Kuro-sama is so bossy in bed." The mage huffed and slowly stood. Swaying a bit, he managed to find the light switch and the sudden brightness startled them both. The ninja got up as well found a towel to wipe as much of the mess away as he could.

"Hey kuro?" Fai was leaning against the wall when the ninja tossed him the towel. He didn't catch it.

"What?" the ninja's eyes narrowed as the blonde scrunched his eyes shut.

"I don't feel so go—" The blonde gaged and covered his mouth with a hand before throwing the door open and rushing to the bathroom.

Of course… Too much Sake…

Kurogane felt like a fucking asshole as he slid his pants back on and grabbed the blonde's pajamas before heading up the hall. It was a damn good thing the kids were fast asleep and didn't catch the blonde streaking to the bathroom.

That would have been a mental scar for sure.

Fai hadn't even managed to close the door.

The warrior stood in the door way watching the muscles in Fai's back tense every time he gaged, and tried to ignore the smell of alcohol and bile. He didn't bother to wait for him to finish though—stepping past him he turned the shower on as hot as it would go and set their cloths on the counter.

By the time the mage had finished emptying out his stomach the shower was ready to go and Kurogane helped him up off the floor and into the hot water. They rinsed off the remnants of there 'love making' as the mage would say, before Kurogane toweled the moron off and helped him get dress.

Fai was able to walk back to the bedroom himself and crawled into bed without any help. Kurogane walked around the idiot and went to get in his own bed when he heard Fai sit back up. "You said you were gonna sleep with me?"

Fai was biting his bottom lip and looking down, as to not make eye contact with Kurogane. Yeah—he had… but after their little—

Roll in the hay….

He figured that that was what the mage had been after the entire time.

Wordlessly he patted his own bed and made room for the idiot. Fai settled against him—protruding spin to muscular chest. And the idiot was out like a light.

Kurogane slept pretty well next to Fai. Which was a bit of a surprise as normally the blonde was wrestles at night, and every little move woke the well-trained ninja. Not tonight though. Fai hadn't moved an inch.

It was so strange in fact that Kurogane had to keep reassuring himself that the idiot was still breathing.

When morning rolled around, Fai slept right past the time his biological clock usually roused him. Well past when the ninja had woken—well past when even the princess had gotten up. Kurogane was wide awake and listening to the blonde's steady breaths as the afternoon started to approach.

If the idiot really had been having such a tough time sleeping he wanted to let him rest. The kids thankfully stayed out of there room so he didn't have to deal with their questions or the pork buns teasing.

Those Blue eyes only opened after the ninja started to hear the idiots stomach growl. He heard the mage take a deep breath before shifting into a sitting position. Yawning and stretching his hands above his head he turned to give the warrior a small smile.

"Thanks for letting me sleep Kuro-daddy."

The idiot looked like a toddler after a too-long afternoon nap…

"You'da done that same for me." Kurogane mumbled as he too sat up. He wasn't built for lounging in bed and his back was sore from not being able to move about.

"Still—So so very sweet." Fai slowly got to his feet and went to the dresser to pull out his cloths. Kurogane was waiting for him to bring up last night—what had gone on between them.

Fai had other plans however and dressed quickly before going out to meet the children. The rest of the day went the same.

They ate a late lunch and packed their belongings before they moved to the next world. The mage wasn't avoiding Kurogane but he didn't go out of his way to be near him ether. They didn't talk any more than usual.

The damn wall was still firmly in place…

* * *

AN: As I am always trying to improve please let me know what you think. If there is interest I have considered turning this into a multi-chapter look at how Kurogane and Fai's relationship could evolve though there travels.


	2. Chapter 2

**I have decided to turn this into a series of one shots following Kurogane and Fai at various points in there journey.**

 **I do not own Tsubasa**

0o0o0

Fai was doing his best to ignore the way Kurogane was staring at him. What had he gotten himself into this time… He was do damn old to be pulling stunts like this.

The blonde would make the promise that he was never going to drink again to avoid getting back into that sort of situation—but he knew he was a bald face liar. Booz was one of the few things keeping him sane on this crazy world hopping marathon.

It wasn't as though the other night had been terrible—the opposite in fact. It had been just what he needed. He hadn't woken up so refreshed since before he left Celese—and Kurogane had been absolutely adorable.

Was he supposed to get attached?

No.

The fact that he had used magic at all yesterday proved that he had—he was to attached to his traveling companions… If Ashura had woken up? Just the thought caused bile to rise in his throat.

He could tell himself until he was blue in the face that he had done it because he was trying and failing to be a double agent—but again. Fai knew 90% of everything that came out of his mouth was a lie. Even to himself.

Normally—he would pretend something like this had never happened—and was fully content on playing that card until the ninja gave up. Only—Kurogane was relentless. Not in a lovey dovey grabby way his other suitors had been—He was just there—and was looking out for Fai for the first time since they had started traveling together.

Really looking out for him.

Fai would never in a hundred million years admit that he found value in his relationship with Kurogane. It didn't matter if teasing the ninja made him mildly happy—or if sleeping in the same bed as the man had actually allowed him to sleep without nightmares for the first time in over a year.

He was a gluten for self-punishment though wasn't he…

Fai sighed loudly and threw himself down onto his bed. He closed his eyes so he would not see the cute way Kurogane's eye brow rose whenever he was dramatic.

"Whats the matter with you?" The blonde felt the other side of his bed dip down from the ninja's weight. A week ago Kurogane would have rather taken a katana to the crotch then sit next to Fai on his bed while he brooded.

The worst part? Fai could crawl into his lap and get all the comfort he wanted—and with the way that Kurogane had been staring at him when he thought he wasn't looking—he could get away with it too.

As soon as he started to depend on Kurogane it was game over. He had known that from the start. No matter how annoyed with himself he currently was—he didn't want the ninja to know. Time to smile and pretend everything was hunky dory and get Kurogane to leave him be.

"Just thinking." Fai sighed again and rolled over dramatically, covering his face with his pillow to further avoid the temptation of looking at the ninja's cute expression. There was nothing his Kuro-sama hated more than vague answers.

"Tch. Moron." Fai thought for sure that he would stand up and march out of the room muttering under his breath. When he didn't, the mage felt his stomach tingle with anticipation.

What. The. Heck.

He knew full well that there was not going to be anything between them. Not because Kurogane wasn't gorgeous. Not because he didn't find Fai to be equally appetizing. Not because they ninja liked to chase him around with a sword and threaten to murder him.

It's because there couldn't be. End of story. There was no chance of it—and if he allowed it to happen it was just going to hurt them both in the end.

They had both started this journey for very different reasons after all.

It didn't matter if he was 99.99% sure that what he was trying to do was absolutely impossible just as all of the hundreds of books he had read stated so. There was still that 0.01% chance that this was not all a giant waste of time and that dark sorcerer really wasn't lying, and he could actually hold his FUCKING TWIN in his arms again.

He was not throwing that away for anyone, or anything.

"The kids went to go talk to the town's people and see if they had heard anything about the feather." Kurogane stood and Fai wasn't aware he had been holding his breath until he opened his mouth to answer.

"You didn't want to go with them Kuro-fluff?" Fai listened to the muffled sound of the ninja's feet as he walked over to the closet and set down the bags containing their cloths on the carpeted floor and kicked the door shut.

"No. Figured they could use some time alone." Those same muffled footsteps made their way to the entrance of the room and Fai felt relief wash over him. He needed to get these irrational urges in check.

He really hated that he couldn't just take these stupid feelings and throw them out a window… You would think that after all the shit he had been though in his life that he would be a numb monster? Hadn't his heart been broken enough? Hadn't he lost enough people?

Why did he have to like this guy so much? It wasn't fair.

He knew that the ninja was temporary in his life. This journey was going to end no matter the outcome and Kurogane was going to go home… Back to his princess… That he loved. Any interest he had in Fai was most likely to amuse himself while they hopped from place to place.

The other night had been fun. But it was just that… So, these butterflies in his chest could go rot in hell because he was absolutely not going to indulge in this stupid fancy. Even if things were different—everyone close to Fai ended up dead anyways.

Kurogane didn't deserve that… There was no avoiding it—but he didn't deserve that.

"I'm going to go make lunch. You want anything?"

"No thank you Kuro-daddy. I think I am going to grab a nap if you don't mind." Fai chanced a peek at the ninja and caught his casual shrug as he left the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

Alone at last Fai sighed loudly again. He was mentally kicking himself for hooking up with Kurogane and deepening their bond… Kurogane shouldn't care if he ate—shouldn't even care enough to close the door on his way out of the room.

It was all wrong.

Fai knew that he needed to stop obsessing. It happened. Ok. Move on. It didn't matter what Kurogane thought.

The mage took a deep breath and remembered a breathing exercise he had been taught in one of his first lessons in magic. The exercise was to control your breathing and bring yourself into a calm enough state to focus on the control of your magic.

As an adult and top-level wizard—he could use his magic without a second thought—but this exercise did a hell of a job of helping him forget about what was bothering him. Think of nothing all but the natural energies that move through your body.

Your breath, the blood flowing through your veins, and finally the magic that hummed just under his skin—crying out to be used.

It worked like a charm—and soon enough he felt his heart rate slowing to a more comfortable pace and his breath no longer burned in his throat. It was nice to have a tool to get his over active mind under control.

This little exercise had saved him from more than one panic attack or fit of insomnia. If he was too worked up it didn't help much—but if he caught himself soon enough, he could shut down his mind before it again became his worst enemy.

As the blonde continued to focus on his breathing, he started to feel his muscles relax as he began to ease off into sleep.

Of course—when he was stressed out, he tended to have extra vivid nightmares… The kind where you didn't realize you were dreaming, and as hard as you try you could not wake yourself up.

The kind that shook you so bad you couldn't even manage a strangled scream…

He hadn't had one of those in a while…. Years in fact…

Usually he dreamt about things that had happened in his life—reliving his failures. Occasionally—when he was particularly stressed out—he dreamed about things that had never happened.

His greatest fears…

Things that if they happened in real life? He wouldn't be able to go on. The worst part? There was always shadows of truth to them. It wasn't unheard of for people with strong magic to catch glimpses of things yet to come.

Fai wasn't particularly gifted—he had never been a lucid dreamer—not like Ashura-ou had been. He never saw events of the future. Just fragments of images, glimpses of loved ones usually. Though the king had tried to teach him the art of dream walking he could never calm himself enough to truly analyze what it was he was seeing.

As a young adult he used to dream about Ashura-ou with hundreds of bodies at his feet while he sat in his thrown. Low and behold Ashura had murdered many of the people of Celese due to a magic induced madness—just as his grandfather had done in Valerie.

Before that? As a child he used to dream of his mother standing over his bed with glazed, dead eyes, and a broken neck. She had hung herself just before he and his twin had been imprisoned.

In that god forsaken pit, he had dreamed of _Fai_ with his head caved in on one side—dragging himself along with broken arms—leaving behind a trail of blood…

So far, he hadn't had any dreams of his traveling companions. Until now.

This dream? He himself had driven a knife though sweet Sakura's chest… he had turned around to see Kurogane unconscious on the ground… missing an arm… bleeding out… Syoran had been nowhere in sight and mokona was looking at him like he was the scum of the earth.

Scarily enough—he could deal with the gore and the knowledge he had caused it—if it had been him. But it wasn't the man he was today—in his dream he was less than human. His skin had felt uncomfortably hot and he had felt closer to the monster he had been accused of being—then a human.

He couldn't feel his magic—he felt as though he was on the border of death itself, but had no hope of crossing that threshold. He had been more comfortable in his skin when he had been a starving prisoner in Valerie surrounded by rotting, frozen corpses. He would rather die then live his life as a monster like that.

He had scrunched his eyes closed and curled into a ball and screamed. And Screamed. And screamed. Until his throat was raw—until he couldn't scream any longer. His nails dug into the skin of his arms—and he couldn't feel—couldn't smell anything but the smell of Kurogane's blood.

He wasn't sure when exactly he crossed back into wakefulness. His limbs felt heavy and he couldn't bring himself to move from the protective ball he had created. Eventually the images of Sakura's lifeless corps faded—eventually he no longer smelt the overwhelming scent of the ninja's blood—but his body wouldn't stop shaking.

It was such a shame if that was really their fate… such a shame…

Fai didn't move from his place until he heard the kids returned home. He didn't want them to have any reason to worry about him. While Kurogane understood that Fai needed a good sulk once in a while—his absence would worry the children if he was 'slept' to long.

Easing himself on to shacking legs—Fai looked in the small mirror that hung on the wall and pulled a bright smile on his face before heading out to greet everyone. If there was one thing he was good at—it was pretending that he is ok.

Handy tricks you picked up playing in the Celesean court.

The blonde strutted out into the living room and flashed the kids with a beaming smile and Fai did what he did best. He filled the silence with mindless chatter—asking questions of what the kids had found out and what the town's people were really like. He kept himself busy by cleaning up the kitchen and cooking an overly elaborate dinner.

He avoided meeting Kurogane's glowers because he was not going to tease him. Fai didn't have time for a lover—no matter how bad his body craved touch.

The sun set, and Fai continued to chatter happily through dinner all the way until the kids both retired to their room to sleep—taking mokona with them. Fai was left alone with Kurogane—and used his last excuse to put distance between them before they went to bed, and they were in the same room the rest of the night.

The hot water in the shower only lasted so long—but if there was one thing Fai wasn't afraid of—it was the cold. So once the steaming hot water turned to a freshly pumped fringed temperature—he did not move from the spray.

If anything, it helped to calm him down even more—wash away the remints of the nightmare. The way his body shivered, and his fingers tingled from slow circulation reminded him he was human—no matter what he had dreamed.

He was alive, and he could feel.

Fai wasn't sure how much time had passed but eventually he turned the water off and grabbed a towel from the rack and quickly ruffles it though his hair to catch most of the loose water before dressing again. The blonde has never been one for prayer—too many unanswered pleas—but he hoped whatever grate being there may be might just take pity on him—so that when he opened this door the hallway would be dark and Kurogane would have already gone to bed.

As per usual—the opposite was true. The ninja was sitting in their bedroom—the tight still on—reading one of his books.

Perfect.

Fai took three deep breaths before pulling on a bright smile and practically skipping into their bedroom and tossing himself on his cot. Kurogane looked up from his book and scowled at him as he made a show of making a little nest for himself in the many blankets he had collected though each and every world.

"Is there even any room for yourself?"

Fai paused in his rearrangement of the many heavy fabrics and grinned in an attempt to annoy the ninja. "If you hate them so much why did you get them all out for me?"

"Tch. Idiot—I don't give a damn how you sleep as long as you shut the hell up. Anyways the pillows were under all of that crap." Kurogane looked back down at his book and Fai giggled. Of course, they were…

Fai always packed the pillows last.

As soon as he was comfortable—Fai curled on his side facing away from the ninja and closed his eyes. He tried to appear asleep—the younger man wouldn't wake him if he knew Fai was resting—but Kurogane had a knack for telling when he was faking.

Minutes ticked by before Kurogane moved from his place on his own cot. For someone so large—Kuro-wan was quite when he moved. Fai didn't know he had gotten up until he felt a hot hand on the back of his neck.

"Your skin feels like ice."

Fai's whole body shivered. Not because he was cold—but because the ninja's hands were so warm." The almost violent shudder didn't go unnoticed and Kurogane snorted.

"You're not normal you know that? What did you do? take an Ice bath?" Fai forced his body to still with a deep breath and turned to look at the ninja. Why was he still touching him? Being nice to him?

The blonde was trying to come up with an answer—the chilled water was comforting. Nothing felt better then crawling under the covers when you were freezing and drifting off to sleep.

"You were cold like this the other night too—you're going to get sick if you keep staying in the shower after the water goes cold moron."

"No, I won't Kuro-worry. I'm used to colder water then that." It was true—though Fai wasn't sure why he had felt the need to share that piece of information. He didn't like talking about home… it broke his heart to know the state of Celese at the moment.

"Your whole world is weird then." Fai shifted to the side and Kurogane sat on the side of his bed repeating their position from earlier. The hot hand was removed from his icy skin and Fai had to consciously stop himself from trying to lean into the receding touch.

"I guess you're right." Fai laughed and Kurogane stared at him with the same look he had been receiving for days.

And this—Fai reminded himself—was why you never ever every slept with your roommate! Especially not your extremely attractive roommate that you may one day be forced to kill.

"What's it like there?" Kurogane was watching him for any hole in his usual mask. It was partially infuriating—Fai never pried in to anyone else's life like this. Knowing Kurogane though he would answer any questions the mage asked without a second thought—he had nothing to hide after all.

"Cold." The mage closed his eyes—he couldn't keep a straight face with the way Kurogane was staring at him. He didn't want to get attached to the raven haired man—and he didn't want him getting attached ether…

He was having a hard time ignoring the part of him that wanted the Kuro-tan to just lay down next to him and continue to chat.

"I already knew that." Fai could practically here Kurogane roll his eyes with annoyance and he smirked. He really shouldn't continue to engage like this—just push him away Fai—you can do it.

"Like really really cold. Snow, ice, the whole nine yards." Fai felt the ninja's weight shift before he felt a sharp pain in the center of his forehead. "Ow Kuro! Don't flick me like that I'll get an ugly bruise!"

Blue eyes met ruby reds and if Fai hadn't been used to receiving such glares from Kurogane—surely, he would have feared for his safety.

"If you don't want to talk about it then just tell me to mind my own business dammit. Quit talking about nonsense!" Kurogane was about to stand—Fai was going to get what he wanted—he had succeeded in pissing the man off.

Kurogane would grumble and leave him alone and they would go to bed as though nothing had happened. They would go back to there usual teasing and death threats—and Kurogane wouldn't touch him anymore.

At least—that's would have happened if the mage's hand hadn't moved without him even thinking about it to grip the ninja's arm.

Fuckkkkk.

"What."

"I don't know what else to say… Other than being a country full of magic users and really cold there was nothing outstanding about Celese." Fai really wished he could slap himself.

Why was he doing this?

"Everyone there could use magic then?" Fai nodded and Kurogane hmm'ed in response. Reluctantly, the blonde pulled his hand back and cradled it against his chest.

Before he had a chance to process what was happening, Kurogane had stood and hit the light switch before crossing the short distance back to the mages bed.

"Move over idiot."

"Whaa? Kuro-snuggle wha—" Fai didn't so much mind being roughly pushed to the edge of his cot—he would be lying if he said he didn't like it when Kurogane was rough with him—but who was keeping track?

"Shut up."

"But—"

"I said shut it ok?" Kurogane—with a bit of hassle—managed to pile most of the blankets on top of Fai and make enough room for himself to fit on mattress. He tucked one arm under his head and snaked the other under all of the blankets to drape of the mages thin frame.

"Why are you—"

"Cuse I want to. shut the fuck up and go to sleep mage." Fai blinked a few times but eventually relaxed.

This was not how the night was supposed to go…


End file.
